With every visit I feel more calm.

I went to Apollo for the third time since I found out that I would be transferred. The first was when I visited a class that was in session around June 1st or something...before anyone else at South knew and before Danielle's wedding. On that day Chris Ann Johnson offered me a textbook and I very reluctantly brought it home. I didn't look in it until last week.

The second visit was a week ago when I met with Heather Johnson to briefly go over the course outline & look in the classroom I will occupy. I noted that the five boxes of teaching materials that Dan & I had packed up at South were in the room. It was a brief meeting with Heather. I think I made her nervous. It must have been the glassy-eyed look I gave her when she started to talk about Ohm's Law & the four types of chemical reactions we'll teach. But when I unpacked the boxes the familiar touch of things like my bean bag hippo & water cup helped me relax.

Today I went to Apollo to get my keys but the office was closed. A man who looked familiar walked quickly by me and he must have noticed the freakishly frightened look on my face and asked "May I help you with something?". I felt like saying "Yes you can. Hold me tightly & don't let go. I think I may die here." but I didn't. I explained who I was, we shook hands ( I wanted to keep holding his ) and we exchanged pleasantries as he walked me down to open my room for me. His name is Brian and he is one of the two assistant principals. He stayed to chat for just a bit and then I was alone. I brought my wooden name "tag" along and so I set it on the lab desk by the interwrite board, stood back and looked at it. It looked good! I searched for and went through some of the resource materials for the text and after a bit I could visualize how the curriculum proceeds.  It has been a looooong time since I have taught this stuff ...it will be work... hard work but I am hopeful. And more calm. Until. I'm afraid, 36 very tall boys and very developed girls walk in the room. It will be then that I will have to dig deep and resist the urge to RUN just as today I resisted the urge to jump into that guy's arms.

Baby steps.

M :)