Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I'm sorry. Pioneer woman ..again.
Ok I'm just gonna call her PW 'cause she does. See? The damn lingo ( gonna??? 'cause??? )
is freaking rubbing off on me. But this post made me laugh so hard . It's short. Am I sick??? Gaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd. It is NICE outside!!!! I should get on my motorcycle!! Ok. I will tomorrow. Promise. Go here for Pw's , very funny, post.
Unless you are sane....... then go outside. It's nice out!!!!
Flash
ps We have the windows open & ahhhhhhhhhhhh. How NICE!!!!!! :)
is freaking rubbing off on me. But this post made me laugh so hard . It's short. Am I sick??? Gaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd. It is NICE outside!!!! I should get on my motorcycle!! Ok. I will tomorrow. Promise. Go here for Pw's , very funny, post.
Unless you are sane....... then go outside. It's nice out!!!!
Flash
ps We have the windows open & ahhhhhhhhhhhh. How NICE!!!!!! :)
Today's post is about
minor medical errors & no, it has nothing to do with CNC , my new acronym for this portion of my life ( crazy in colorado) but with ME and DAN. Fancy that!
So. Both of us had some doctoring done this week. Dan had his physical yesterday & I had a mammogram today. All three minor medical errors ( we'll call them MME WTH) have to do with NAMES. All three MME are true stories. All were caught by ME and all likely wouldn't have caused any major disasters although one just about gave a nurse a heart attack.
MME #1. Year= 1995.
Because of the history of colon cancer in Dan's family , Dan & all of his siblings have been advised to get their first colonoscopy at age 40. The summer that Dan had his first I was nervous. Very nervous. Partially because I detest hospitals, doctor's offices, dentist's offices, anything that smells alcoholly.New word for you:) And partially because , well, I was scared. So when the nurse brought us back to one of about 6 small rooms, his name was hand written in green on a small white board. But it was the wrong name. It said " Daniel Bernard ". I told the nurse that there must be some sort of mistake, he is not Daniel Bernard. She got a very frightened & shocked look on her face and Dan said to me VERY harshly "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????" And suddenly I came out of my stupor (as in stupid), shrunk to the size of a pea & we went into the room & all was well. See. Neither I nor anyone in Dan's family ever calls him " Daniel". I affectionately and frequently call him "Daniel B ", but never "Daniel Bernard" which was on the whiteboard outside of the room and is his correct first and middle name . Duh.
MME #2. Year= 2007. I went to my annual mammo gram & when I was called back, I was brought into a room with a different looking piece of equipment in it than I had seen before for a mammogram. As I was disrobing, I made a comment about the apparatus & the nurse said, "Yes, this machine can show breast tissue in more detail so when we see a suspect spot we use it for further screening."Several things went through my head at a very fast pace but the most distinct was a WTF are you TALKING about?! It has been ONE YEAR since I had my last Mammo & it is just NOW that you got back to check a SUSPECT SPOT??????????????. But I didn't exactly say that. I MENTIONED it & she looked at her chart and said "you ARE Mary blah blah blah, right?" And I said, noooooooooo I am not Mary blah blah blah (thinking God be with her) , I am Mary blah.
MME #3. Today as I was reading in the Breast Center's waiting room ( wouldn't you love to have that sign above your door?) a nurse peaks out, chart in hand and says, "Mary?". I stood up and went back. On the way back & as we entered a room I said,"are you sure that you have the right Mary?" She said, "are you Mary blah blah blah?". And I said in as un annoyed a way as I possibly could muster considering SEVERAL circumstances that have happened in the last 24 hours "NO! I am NOT Mary blah blah blah! I am Mary BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
And I was re escorted into the correct room.
Moral of the story #1...... double check your names in Dr's offices.
Moral of the story # 2........ there are too many fucking Marys in Stearn's County.
So. Both of us had some doctoring done this week. Dan had his physical yesterday & I had a mammogram today. All three minor medical errors ( we'll call them MME WTH) have to do with NAMES. All three MME are true stories. All were caught by ME and all likely wouldn't have caused any major disasters although one just about gave a nurse a heart attack.
MME #1. Year= 1995.
Because of the history of colon cancer in Dan's family , Dan & all of his siblings have been advised to get their first colonoscopy at age 40. The summer that Dan had his first I was nervous. Very nervous. Partially because I detest hospitals, doctor's offices, dentist's offices, anything that smells alcoholly.New word for you:) And partially because , well, I was scared. So when the nurse brought us back to one of about 6 small rooms, his name was hand written in green on a small white board. But it was the wrong name. It said " Daniel Bernard ". I told the nurse that there must be some sort of mistake, he is not Daniel Bernard. She got a very frightened & shocked look on her face and Dan said to me VERY harshly "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????" And suddenly I came out of my stupor (as in stupid), shrunk to the size of a pea & we went into the room & all was well. See. Neither I nor anyone in Dan's family ever calls him " Daniel". I affectionately and frequently call him "Daniel B ", but never "Daniel Bernard" which was on the whiteboard outside of the room and is his correct first and middle name . Duh.
MME #2. Year= 2007. I went to my annual mammo gram & when I was called back, I was brought into a room with a different looking piece of equipment in it than I had seen before for a mammogram. As I was disrobing, I made a comment about the apparatus & the nurse said, "Yes, this machine can show breast tissue in more detail so when we see a suspect spot we use it for further screening."Several things went through my head at a very fast pace but the most distinct was a WTF are you TALKING about?! It has been ONE YEAR since I had my last Mammo & it is just NOW that you got back to check a SUSPECT SPOT??????????????. But I didn't exactly say that. I MENTIONED it & she looked at her chart and said "you ARE Mary blah blah blah, right?" And I said, noooooooooo I am not Mary blah blah blah (thinking God be with her) , I am Mary blah.
MME #3. Today as I was reading in the Breast Center's waiting room ( wouldn't you love to have that sign above your door?) a nurse peaks out, chart in hand and says, "Mary?". I stood up and went back. On the way back & as we entered a room I said,"are you sure that you have the right Mary?" She said, "are you Mary blah blah blah?". And I said in as un annoyed a way as I possibly could muster considering SEVERAL circumstances that have happened in the last 24 hours "NO! I am NOT Mary blah blah blah! I am Mary BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
And I was re escorted into the correct room.
Moral of the story #1...... double check your names in Dr's offices.
Moral of the story # 2........ there are too many fucking Marys in Stearn's County.
Pioneer Woman is on the Today Show!!!
I THINK this morning.... but I am not sure. Could be tomorrow.
public service announcement ( I am beginning to feel like a stalker) ..... and her cookbook is on Dan's Christmas list:)
Flash!
public service announcement ( I am beginning to feel like a stalker) ..... and her cookbook is on Dan's Christmas list:)
Flash!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
First off. Thanks Marohl!!! You hot too!
Came home to this:
Dan- you better listen to the answering machine. pause. It's not Lisa. pause. It's not your Mom ( Dan is following me now) .... Donna is fine.
Me - Bill.
Dan - no.
Me - Dwaine.
Dan- yes.
Me... He didn't die.
Dan... yes. He died. You need to listen to the message. Your Mom is pretty upset.
Background.... as you know, Lisa my sister was diagnose with pulmonary fibrosis & told to " get her things in order" two years ago now? 2.5 years ago.
I went to see her the last two summers and a couple of times in between thinking she was going to pass on immanently. The progression has slowed ( obviously) .I called her for the first time since the beginning of June just a few days ago. She doesn't remember (always) how long it's been since I've called & I have been ok with that.
We had a fun visit when we talked... as usual, lots of laughing, a little family gossip, & she told me that Dwaine had had some low blood sugars ( he is insulin dependent) lately but she has been able to bring him around.
A little more background. During the first summer visit, my Mom & I with the help of Danielle contacted social services to get Lisa "in the system". Lisa caught wind of it, called social services, LIED and said that we were confused & that it was her cousin who was very sick not her. Good thing I had a feeling something was up & called that case manager. Lisa was very convincing & the case manager was pretty confused.
Because of confidentiality, the case manager couldn't say much at this point & so I gave her Lisa's primary doctor's number to confirm the diagnosis and the situation... as in living situation.... Dwaine being insulin dependent & the actual LIVING conditions ( atrocious).
MORE.... last Fall someone from social services show up at their house for a "welfare check" . Someone had called & said they were concerned about the people in the house. I DID NOT CALL! I do not know who did, but I am glad that they did. And I am glad that Mom & I got Lisa into the system and that her primary doctor knows that her family will not tolerate anything from him but what is required by law for her welfare. Hell. It may have been HIM who called!
It is all we, as her family, have from a distance as some sort of reassurance that she is ok. Well. That and Dwaine. And now Dwaine is gone.
I really don't know what is going to happen. Donna is on her way to CO. Mom is too damn old. My Mom has been through and to Hell in many ways in her life already including dealing with my step dad's dementia, his tooth being pulled (today) her knee surgery this month.
I told Dan "tell me I should not hop on a plane and go Lisa's". He said "I really don't think you should go."
I will have to call Mom now even though the message was left at noon & she said she would call back because I'm sure that she has already had some wine.
Who will I depend on for logic? Donna. My recovering addict, brilliant sister who just kicked another habit of pain killers and who has a supposedly savant- native american shaman , communicating mystic type boyfriend.
Well this sure makes babysitting the grand kids a fricking piece of cake.
Flash G. Sane right now......
Dan- you better listen to the answering machine. pause. It's not Lisa. pause. It's not your Mom ( Dan is following me now) .... Donna is fine.
Me - Bill.
Dan - no.
Me - Dwaine.
Dan- yes.
Me... He didn't die.
Dan... yes. He died. You need to listen to the message. Your Mom is pretty upset.
Background.... as you know, Lisa my sister was diagnose with pulmonary fibrosis & told to " get her things in order" two years ago now? 2.5 years ago.
I went to see her the last two summers and a couple of times in between thinking she was going to pass on immanently. The progression has slowed ( obviously) .I called her for the first time since the beginning of June just a few days ago. She doesn't remember (always) how long it's been since I've called & I have been ok with that.
We had a fun visit when we talked... as usual, lots of laughing, a little family gossip, & she told me that Dwaine had had some low blood sugars ( he is insulin dependent) lately but she has been able to bring him around.
A little more background. During the first summer visit, my Mom & I with the help of Danielle contacted social services to get Lisa "in the system". Lisa caught wind of it, called social services, LIED and said that we were confused & that it was her cousin who was very sick not her. Good thing I had a feeling something was up & called that case manager. Lisa was very convincing & the case manager was pretty confused.
Because of confidentiality, the case manager couldn't say much at this point & so I gave her Lisa's primary doctor's number to confirm the diagnosis and the situation... as in living situation.... Dwaine being insulin dependent & the actual LIVING conditions ( atrocious).
MORE.... last Fall someone from social services show up at their house for a "welfare check" . Someone had called & said they were concerned about the people in the house. I DID NOT CALL! I do not know who did, but I am glad that they did. And I am glad that Mom & I got Lisa into the system and that her primary doctor knows that her family will not tolerate anything from him but what is required by law for her welfare. Hell. It may have been HIM who called!
It is all we, as her family, have from a distance as some sort of reassurance that she is ok. Well. That and Dwaine. And now Dwaine is gone.
I really don't know what is going to happen. Donna is on her way to CO. Mom is too damn old. My Mom has been through and to Hell in many ways in her life already including dealing with my step dad's dementia, his tooth being pulled (today) her knee surgery this month.
I told Dan "tell me I should not hop on a plane and go Lisa's". He said "I really don't think you should go."
I will have to call Mom now even though the message was left at noon & she said she would call back because I'm sure that she has already had some wine.
Who will I depend on for logic? Donna. My recovering addict, brilliant sister who just kicked another habit of pain killers and who has a supposedly savant- native american shaman , communicating mystic type boyfriend.
Well this sure makes babysitting the grand kids a fricking piece of cake.
Flash G. Sane right now......
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Some of you
say that my blog sometimes make you laugh or giggle, chuckle or smile. I like that. I take it as quite a complement because #1) When I post, my intention is not to make you laugh or giggle, chuckle or smile and so it is a nice surprise & kind of flattering that I could have such an effect & #2) I like thinking about making the few of you read this happy for a moment.
Where is this going? Well, Pioneer Woman & some of her posts have the same effect (ok you english teachers....if I'm using the wrong EFFECT I'm soooooooo sorry! At least I know my too, to & twos and ALSO my their there and they're so there. AND I know the correct time to use a possessive apostrophe except for the darn exceptions. )
anyyyyyyyywhooooooooooooo as I was saying. Pioneers Woman makes me laugh. This particular post that I just read made me laugh out loud several times so I thought I would share. Go here.
I hope that you laugh too!
F
Where is this going? Well, Pioneer Woman & some of her posts have the same effect (ok you english teachers....if I'm using the wrong EFFECT I'm soooooooo sorry! At least I know my too, to & twos and ALSO my their there and they're so there. AND I know the correct time to use a possessive apostrophe except for the darn exceptions. )
anyyyyyyyywhooooooooooooo as I was saying. Pioneers Woman makes me laugh. This particular post that I just read made me laugh out loud several times so I thought I would share. Go here.
I hope that you laugh too!
F
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- Mary
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