Today's post is about

minor medical errors & no, it has nothing to do with CNC , my new acronym for this portion of my life ( crazy in colorado) but with ME and DAN. Fancy that!

So. Both of us had some doctoring done this week. Dan had his physical yesterday & I had a mammogram today. All three minor medical errors ( we'll call them MME WTH) have to do with NAMES. All three MME are true stories. All were caught by ME and all likely wouldn't have caused any major disasters although one just about gave a nurse a heart attack.

MME #1. Year= 1995.

Because of the history of colon cancer in Dan's family , Dan & all of his siblings have been advised to get their first colonoscopy at age 40. The summer that Dan had his first I was nervous. Very nervous. Partially because I detest hospitals, doctor's offices, dentist's offices, anything that smells alcoholly.New word for you:) And partially because , well, I was scared. So when the nurse brought us back to one of about 6 small rooms, his name was hand written in green on a small white board. But it was the wrong name. It said " Daniel Bernard ". I told the nurse that there must be some sort of mistake, he is not Daniel Bernard. She got a very frightened & shocked look on her face and Dan said to me VERY harshly "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????" And suddenly I came out of my stupor (as in stupid), shrunk to the size of a pea & we went into the room & all was well. See. Neither I nor anyone in Dan's family ever calls him " Daniel". I affectionately and frequently call him "Daniel B ", but never "Daniel Bernard" which was on the whiteboard outside of the room and is his correct first and middle name . Duh.

MME #2. Year= 2007. I went to my annual mammo gram & when I was called back, I was brought into a room with a different looking piece of equipment in it than I had seen before for a mammogram. As I was disrobing, I made a comment about the apparatus & the nurse said, "Yes, this machine can show breast tissue in more detail so when we see a suspect spot we use it for further screening."Several things went through my head at a very fast pace but the most distinct was a WTF are you TALKING about?! It has been ONE YEAR since I had my last Mammo & it is just NOW that you got back to check a SUSPECT SPOT??????????????. But I didn't exactly say that. I MENTIONED it & she looked at her chart and said "you ARE Mary blah blah blah, right?" And I said, noooooooooo I am not Mary blah blah blah (thinking God be with her) , I am Mary blah.

MME #3. Today as I was reading in the Breast Center's waiting room ( wouldn't you love to have that sign above your door?) a nurse peaks out, chart in hand and says, "Mary?". I stood up and went back. On the way back & as we entered a room I said,"are you sure that you have the right Mary?" She said, "are you Mary blah blah blah?". And I said in as un annoyed a way as I possibly could muster considering SEVERAL circumstances that have happened in the last 24 hours "NO! I am NOT Mary blah blah blah! I am Mary BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

And I was re escorted into the correct room.

Moral of the story #1...... double check your names in Dr's offices.

Moral of the story # 2........ there are too many fucking Marys in Stearn's County.