Dream

I had a dream about my sister last night and it keeps popping back into my mind.

I am going to blog about it to 1) (hopefully) let it go 2) help me process what it means.

This dream that is following me was NOT a bad dream. It was a very short, simple & uncomplicated dream. It was devoid of powerful feelings or emotions. As a matter of fact, it was very calm. Maybe that is part of why it has attached itself to my mind. Usually (because of school) my dreams are very powerful & full of emotions... mostly frustration ... I'm sure you can relate!

Anyway, in this dream, I find myself walking around the outside of a small, well- kempt & cozy home. Everything about the place, the lawn, the house, & the outbuildings was perfect. It was as if everything had just been meticulously gone over; freshly washed, cleaned & painted. The place was uncluttered & spotless.

The cement floor in one of the small sheds looked as if it had just been poured, but in my dream I thought that perhaps it looked that way because it had just been cleaned super well. There was water on the cement... like it had just been sprayed down.

The lawn, like the outside of the house ( I never saw the inside of the house ) was small but quaint. There were some tall, grass - like plants that edged part of the freshly laid & very green lawn. In my dream I was so impressed with the yard/lawn, that I specifically looked for a sprinkling system & saw the sprinklers & even noticed evidence of water... like puddles or mist or something.

In my dream I was admiring how simple but beautiful the yard was. It looked as if everything had just been attended to by a professional gardener.

Everything had a "cool" feel about it. My skin felt cool & comfortable.

There was a sidewalk that curved around the house & as I walked down it & turned the corner I saw Lisa sitting in a gown ( like a mumu) ,in a rocking chair, in front of the house. She was large, heavy, chubby, but comfortable. She had slippers on & her expression was that of just matter of fact & welcoming. She didn't say anything to me, but I remember being so glad to see her & I was surprised to see her. It was as if I had been plopped in this place, wasn't thinking about Lisa, was just walking around & there she was. I was glad to see her though, and as the dream went on it made perfectly good sense to me ( in my dream) that she would be there. Even in my dream I was trying to put this all together in my head.

Lisa & I walked together into one of the sheds and her husband, Dwaine was inside & he looked so young & fit. He was almost child- like. The shed was completely empty but Dwaine seemed joyful about the shed, & how it looked. He was almost skipping. I thought he had lost his mind but he was so positive & happy & joyful & I was just tickled to see him that way. I was joyful too.

There was a little more of the dream but I am tired of typing & some of the symbolism has become apparent to me... especially the coolness & water & uncluttered ness & simplicity of everything. It is just the opposite of what Lisa is actually living like.

I think I dreamt of Lisa in heaven.

I haven't called her in two weeks or more. It is so hard for me to call and it has been good for me to stop for awhile.

I will have to get a hold of her again soon. Not because I feel obligated but because I miss her & love her and I WANT to talk to her. But it is so damn hard.

Anyhoooooooooooooo. I'm glad I have this down "on paper". If nothing else, to remind me some day of where I dreamt she was.

M